My Grand Adventure

You might be aware that I am afraid of spiders. If you didn't know, now you do. This is not some silly little fear, trying to be cute so somebody will take care of me. This is a real, live, horror. I have dreams in which I see a spider and then I wake up in a panic and can't go back to sleep.

All spiders have a radius of fear and death surrounding them, and the size of this radius depends on the size of the spider. Obviously I need to be further away from bigger spiders. I have had run-ins with spiders so large that I have had to step inside that radius in order for the RAID to hit them. These are times when my voice goes up a few octaves and it takes me a life time to be brave enough to spray the RAID. They always jump off the wall and make a run for it after the nerve agent hits, you know.

With that being said, I give you the following adventure:

This morning, as I was merging onto the interstate, I looked over my left shoulder to check for cars. This was a bad time to see a jumping spider the size of a dime on the driver's side window. It was inside, and there was no glass to protect me.

I was inside the radius, and I couldn't get out of it!!

I immediately started to panic. I swerved the car to the right, then realized once again that I was in a car on the interstate and needed to be able to drive or I would die from arachnophobia. I leaned as far as I could away from the window and dialed my adorable husband on speaker phone.

I started crying hysterically. (I told you, the fear is real!!!) He told me to get off the road. I couldn't just pull over because the interstate is a busy road and I don't know that I could just get right back on from the shoulder. I had to make it to the next exit. I was driving, and crying, and telling him that I couldn't pull off the road just yet. I kept looking over at the window to make sure I still knew the location of my stalker, and then when I would SEE the eight-legged assassin I would scream again. I was a mess.... there went my perfectly applied makeup...

I got to the next exit, went a bit faster than I probably should have on the off ramp, ran through a stop sign (after making sure it was clear, of course), and parked in a gravel area used by car-poolers for parking and picking people up. There was ONE person there, and he was just climbing into his red minivan. I said to my husband, "can I ask this guy to kill it???" He said "Yes, you can do that." Haha...

I parked. My husband told me to open the door. I couldn't open the driver door!!!! There was a JUMPING SPIDER on it!!!! If I opened the door, it could jump on me! No no, this 7-month pregnant lady was climbing over the center console and escaping from the passenger door! That is exactly what I did!!

I went over to the minivan and didn't know if the guy would see me. Luckily he did. I can only imagine what went through his mind as a shaking 7-month pregnant woman with mascara and shame all over her face approached his car. He rolled down the window, and I blurted out through hysterical tears, "there's a spider in my car! I'm terrified! Can you get it???" He smiled, and this was the only time that he seemed humored by the situation. (I guarantee he laughed later.)

He got out of his van and went to the back to look for something for squishing purposes. I don't even know what I was doing because I was in the process of being traumatized by this entire ordeal. My husband was still on the phone with me. The guy eventually located a tissue and he went to my car.

Would you believe that we couldn't find the spider?

I went back around to the passenger side to see if I could see it from that angle. Finally the man located the jumping jerk on the inside of the driver door and he squished it! I made him show me the body for identification purposes and just to know that he wasn't lying to appease me. Of course squished spiders make me want to vomit, so I couldn't look for long.

The anonymous hero left in a hurry (I hope I didn't make him late!), and I got back into my car. My husband said to me, "Umm, I think we need to work on this." I agreed... then I drove to work... and LUCKILY one of my lovely coworkers had mascara so I could fix my face.

Phew! Wow... what an adventure!!!

What today will be like is up to you!

Have you ever had one of those mornings where everything seems to be going wrong? Imagine, if you will, all of the following happening in one morning:

1. You wake up and step in a pile of cat vomit.
2. The shower runs out of hot water before you're done.
3. You gag while you clean up cat vomit.
4. Your kids miss the bus.
5. You can't find your keys.
6. You find your keys, but your car won't start.
7. You spill food on your only clean uniform.
8. Your computer crashes while finishing up that important document.

If all of these things happened to you, what would that do to the rest of your day?? I think many people would say their day would be ruined. They would want to crawl back into bed and try to restart! "It's just going to be one of those days," they might think.

Well, if you tell yourself you're going to have a bad day, what do you think happens? You have a bad day! Weird, isn't it? Do you know why that is? Because your brain is trying to prove it!!!

So... after you get all cleaned up and you get your car started, you encounter a red light. Even though that light is red 50% of the time, today it is red because today is a bad day!! You will find ways to prove it's a bad day and you will look for the negative in absolutely everything.

Did you know that YOU have the power to turn your day around? It's all about your attitude and how you choose to think! You truly are a powerful being. Chances are, you haven't noticed your power yet.

Let's say you are aware of your personal power (and your personal responsibility for your whole life) and all of those things happen to you in one morning. How might you choose to think about these events? Maybe you could consider them "adventures." I have thought to myself on more than one occasion, "wow, I've had a lot of adventures this morning!" Perhaps you, a very powerful person, would choose to refrain from making any guesses about the rest of the day and just marvel at how amazing you are for having overcome so many obstacles before the day really even got started! That's something to be proud of, right?

No matter what happens in your life this morning, I hope you choose to have a fantastic day!

Choosing to Think Positive

Is it a choice? Yes, it is.

Lots of us get caught up in negativity and soon it is all we can see. Each week I ask my trainees to identify 5 things that are going right in their lives. It's rare that any of them can whip out a list of 5. Sometimes I have people who can't even identify 1 positive thing in their lives. I have been there before, and I have been on an incredible journey to be where I am right now--oozing positivity.

A few weeks ago, my best friend told me he was completely stressed out because of an issue with his house that needed to be fixed. I encouraged him to name 5 things that are going right in his life. He ignored me. Well, because I am a good friend, I came up with a long list (way more than 5) and I will share that with you here:

Your best friend is awesome.
Your son is the coolest thing you have ever created.
You have a wife!! That search is over!
You are employed while many are not.
You have shoes to wear.
You have clothes.
You are able to meet your basic needs.
You have reliable transportation.
Your wife and child have reliable transportation.
You have enough food to eat.
You have tons of awesome t-shirts.
You own your own home.
You have a dog.
You have a library. Lucky bastard.
You have some great and lasting friendships.
You are not afraid to cut toxic people out of your life.
You have morals.
You are not in prison.
You are not in the holocaust.
You live in a nice city.
You don't have neighbor drama.
You have a supportive family.
You have glasses to assist you and meet your needs.
You have a great driving record.
You make a great zombie.
You have all of your teeth.
You have people willing to help you.
You have perfect grammar.
You know how to spell.
Your relationship with your dad is improving.
You are patient.
You are kind.
You are trustworthy.
You have great taste in home decor.
You have an income to afford your home decor needs.
You don't have to steal stuff.
You will eat lunch today.
You have computer skills.
You sleep at night.
People like you.
you rock the bald look.
You are great at alphabetizing.
Your interests are not bizarre.
You have not lost any limbs.
You have your eyes.
You can hear.
You can walk.
You have empathy.
You are capable of love.
And on, and on, and on....


What's a wet subfloor? And, you might be asking yourself, what's my point?

My point is this..... we all have SO MUCH going right in our lives! It far outweighs the negative stuff! If we can focus our energies on all of the good stuff, it will completely change our attitudes for the better! Soon we can see those little black rainclouds part and allow the blue skies to shine through. Suddenly everything takes on a different light and we can think positively.

W. Mitchell is a really fantastic fellow who goes around sharing his story to help people think more positively. He was a marine back in the day, and he liked to have all kinds of adventures. He learned how to fly planes, and he also rode motorcycles. Well, one day back in the 70's, this 28-year-old strong fellow flew an airplane by himself for the very first time. That day he rode his new motorcycle through an intersection in San Francisco and wound up hitting a laundry truck that didn't see him coming. The crash resulted in a "human bonfire" that left Mitchell burned on 65% of his body. The only parts of him that were spared were the portions protected by his helmet and his motorcycle jacket.

He lost all of his fingers. They were burned off of him.

He kept his sense of humor and wits, and he made a great recovery. He moved to Colorado and became mayor of a small town. He was highly successful, even starting a business. His strange appearance didn't stop him!

4 years after that fiery crash, Mitchell got into a plane accident. It broke his spine and he is now paralyzed from the waist down. Two horrific accidents struck Mitchell, but he is one of the most positive people you will ever meet. He says he wouldn't change anything because what he has learned about life and about himself has been utterly priceless.

If he can do it.... so can we. Next time you find yourself thinking negative thoughts, turn the steering wheel in your mind and look at the bright side! You don't have to be negative, ya know! It's a choice!

Happiness is Wanting What You Have

I think I've mentioned in an earlier post that every Thursday at work I teach my trainees about personal responsibility and the total control they have over their own happiness. Well, this week 75% of my trainees leave at 1:00 instead of 3:00, so I have been only partially finishing each day and just pushing the rest of the curriculum out to the next day. That means I started the awesomeness that is Thursday yesterday, and I get to finish it up this morning. :-) That's two days of ultra positivity! I seriously love this part of my week. 

One of the skills we cover in the book is called "Living Each Day Gratefully." We talk about expanding our definitions of wealth and taking time to really pay attention to the wonders in our lives. One quote from the book is the following:

"The moment one gives close attention to any thing, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself."

Henry Miller

What this means is that we take a lot of things for granted! I actually saw a quote yesterday that said something along the lines of "what you take for granted, someone else is praying for." That is so very true! My trainees are all recipients of welfare and the majority of them feel kinda crappy about their circumstances. They tend to focus on what they do NOT have, but they give little attention to what they DO have. Did you know that in some countries, people don't even have the resources to obtain shoes? ALL of my trainees have shoes!!! Many, many people do not even have shelter to sleep under. All of my trainees have a place to sleep, whether it is their own or someone else's. These things make them much wealthier than many, many people all over the world. It's just hard for them to really see that sometimes!

My class book is riddled with "Hot Tips" to really help people think and put things into perspective. One of these tips is the following: "Happiness comes not from getting what you want, but from wanting what you already have...." I find this to be absolutely profound, and I really hope that it hits home with my trainees. Can you imagine if you wanted nothing more than what you already have? For example, I love my car. I love it so much that there is not another car on the road that I look at and wish was mine. If I had a million dollars, the last thing I would do is go car shopping. I WANT my car. That is a great feeling!

I've always been one to really cherish the things I have. Once I get a frying pan, for example, I feel as though that need has been fulfilled and I stop shopping for frying pans. I don't feel the need to get the latest and greatest with all the fancy shmancy bells and whistles. I just love MY frying pan. Even my frying pan can leave me feeling satisfied. I can't imagine the misery I would feel if I always wanted something "better." I would just be chasing happiness, all the time, and I would never find it.

Give close attention to what you have today! Be grateful! Be happy! Here is another quote that we will discuss this morning:

"If the stars should appear but one night every thousand years, how man would marvel and stare." 

Ralph Waldo Emerson

But does the fact that the stars appear each night take away from the miracle of their twinkling? Only if we let it!!!

Gah!!!!! The world can be so awesome!!! Pay attention to what you have today and find that happiness! It's right there in your very own home. :-)

Latest crochet creations!

I learned to crochet when I was 18. Since then, I must say I've made some pretty amazing stuff! This past weekend I made the following hats for two of my cousins.

Each of those took about an hour, I'd wager. These are just little side projects. Here is the big project I've been working on for the little bun in my oven:

It will literally be a big blanket of flowers! Isn't it wonderful? :-)

Taking personal responsibility

"It's not what happens to you, it's what you do about it." -W. Mitchell

Every Thursday at work, the topic I cover with my trainees is "Taking Personal Responsibility." This is a rather huge concept that really expanded my universe once it clicked.

When you think of "taking responsibility," what comes to mind? It's usually about something negative, right? Your answers may include "owning up to your actions," or "admitting what you did was wrong," etc. Well, yes, but it goes way, way beyond that.

Whose job is it to make sure you have a good day today? .....yours.
Whose job is it to make sure you don't get upset by someone else's actions? ......yours.
Whose job is it to make sure you go down the right career path? ......yours.

Yours, yours, yours. Whose job is it to make you happy, successful, financially stable, sane? YOURS!!! Isn't that amazing? YOU have control here.

Shifting gears a bit... How do you feel when someone controls you? "It sucks," is what I hear. "I feel powerless" is what I hear. "Like a victim" is what I liken it to. Well *guess what*!?! YOU are always in control of YOU. Do you see a trend here? Let's say there is someone holding a gun to your noggin, demanding that you open up that vault "or else...". YOU are actually choosing to open the vault because YOU are logical and aware of the possible consequences. You could choose not to open it, and in that case you would know that you had some responsibility in what was ultimately manifest as a result of that choice that YOU made.

Doesn't that feel better? Doesn't it feel great to know that you are always in control of you? My goodness, we have so much power, it is unbelievable!

Shift gears again... I went to a Robin Rose training for work a few months ago and she said something absolutely profound. While the training was about brain function, stress hormones, etc., the following is what made the biggest impact on me and my own curriculum. In a nutshell, she said that we actually have no control over what happens to us as a child, but as adults we DO have control over what we do about it. It goes hand in hand with the W. Mitchell quote above.

You had no control over what family you were born into, whether or not your parents had good parenting skills, what kind of environment you lived in, who your neighbors were, whether or not you had your basic human needs met, etc. You were just tossed in there and had to live with it. But at some point in your life it becomes your responsibility to choose how it impacts the rest of your life. I hate to break it to you, but you can't blame your parents anymore! If you treat people poorly, that is 100% your own fault. If you have a positive attitude, that is also 100% your own fault. No excuses! None of that "well I am this way because I was abused as a child" junk. It just doesn't fly.

I'm still struggling with finding a way to really crack into people's skulls and plant this seed. I just don't know how to put the awesomeness that is Taking Personal Responsibility into the right words!