I had only one option...

Hello! Here I have for you another story of survival. (That's how I can make it sound positive, anyway.) You remember my Grand Adventure with the spider on the interstate, right? Well then there was another spider in the car on my way to the bank a few months ago. I pulled into the Franz Bread Outlet parking lot and got an employee to get it out of the car for me… and yes, there were tears… But wait until you hear what happened two nights ago! I'm still scared of the kitchen!!!

My poor sweet baby girl started vomiting Monday evening around 8:30. It was so sad… After we got her cleaned up, I decided I'd go lay down with her and put her to bed. I was down to my undies and a T-shirt, and I was barefoot. Then, she threw up again! Poor sweet angel… So I called the on-call doctor who advised us to get some Pedialite to give her so she wouldn't get dehydrated. My darling husband left for the store. I changed a diaper, then I went to the kitchen with my wee lass… I was still in my undies and T-shirt, and still barefoot.

While waiting for my husband to return, I opened the dishwasher and decided to start putting away the dishes. I was still holding my poor sick baby. I got a few cups out of the dishwasher, and then suddenly a gargantuan 8-legged vessel of death came running out from under the open dishwasher door. Luckily it was running away from me, but unfortunately it stopped right at the entryway (or exit) to the kitchen!!!

It was almost as large as the palm of my hand. I don't have miniature hands, either. They're totally average sized hands for an average sized woman. This monster is what nightmares are made of!!!

So of course I screamed and threw myself backward. I was as far as humanly possible from this creature. One of my cats--the feistier, braver, much smaller one--came running. She locked eyes with the enemy. Of course my mind was racing. She could kill it, right? But you know how cats are… They don't just kill their prey. They play with it. They make it run around and dance. They chase it from here to there and back again!!! So I saw in my mind's eye Matilda batting the spider (that was almost as big as her) (ok not really) and it running in my direction. Oh no, no, this would not do. So, I yelled at her to leave.

The spider stood there, right next to the exit, and I was trapped. You recall the Radius of Fear and Death (RoFaD), right? Where I stood, I was barely, BARELY outside of it. If I were to try to run past and get my infant and myself to safety, I would have to enter the RoFaD! I tried to will myself to do it. Of course blubbering unintelligible noises all the while. My mind's eye showed me two possible scenarios if I attempted to escape.

1) I run as fast as I can. This scares my foe and he runs, possible at my bare feet and legs.
2) I walk slowly, requiring a longer stay in the RoFaD, and being an easier target for him to run at my bare feet and legs.

…I couldn't do it. I could not physically make myself enter the RoFaD at any speed! In fact, the thought of it gave me goosebumps all over my legs! So, I had only one option.

One.

I had to climb.

With infant in hand, I closed the dishwasher, and I closed a cupboard door so I wouldn't hit my head. The noise from the cupboard door made the spider JUMP, which is almost enough to make me pass out…. Nice try, spider. Nice try. I shoved some stuff out of the way, got one foot up on the counter and hoisted myself up.

And there I sat, blubbering, chanting "please come home please come home please come home" in hopes that the universe would send my hubby (a.k.a. Spider Slayer) home as fast as possible! To my great relief, he came home about 30 seconds after I got onto the counter. THANK YOU, UNIVERSE!!!!

So he walks in and he sees his half-naked wife and ill baby perched up on the counter quite awkwardly. I immediately say to him "THERE IS A HUUUUGE SPIDER RIGHT THERE!!!" He rolls his eyes, assuming my version of huge is his version of barely-there. He walks into the spider's line of site and simply says, "Damn!"

I told you it was huge!!!!!!!!

I just got the chills remembering! Gah!

He grabbed a file folder off of the table and thew it down on top of the spider. First the spider ran to the side and escaped the attempt. Of course that makes me freak out more… (No worries, the baby was silent through this entire ordeal!) He was able to cover the spider the second time, then squish it. And then he picked it all up, because spider guts make me gag.

…and then I cried. I don't like this new crying thing. This started with the interstate episode and has continued. Lame.

Anyway, I have not been barefoot since!

I looked it up, and this was a Giant House Spider, most likely male. The website said "they are sometimes seen wandering around the house looking for a mate…" That's even WORSE! Giant House Spider babies…!?!?!?! Sick and wrong!

OK, make it positive… I didn't fall off the counter. I'm alive. Phew! :-)

What today will be like is up to you!

Have you ever had one of those mornings where everything seems to be going wrong? Imagine, if you will, all of the following happening in one morning:

1. You wake up and step in a pile of cat vomit.
2. The shower runs out of hot water before you're done.
3. You gag while you clean up cat vomit.
4. Your kids miss the bus.
5. You can't find your keys.
6. You find your keys, but your car won't start.
7. You spill food on your only clean uniform.
8. Your computer crashes while finishing up that important document.

If all of these things happened to you, what would that do to the rest of your day?? I think many people would say their day would be ruined. They would want to crawl back into bed and try to restart! "It's just going to be one of those days," they might think.

Well, if you tell yourself you're going to have a bad day, what do you think happens? You have a bad day! Weird, isn't it? Do you know why that is? Because your brain is trying to prove it!!!

So... after you get all cleaned up and you get your car started, you encounter a red light. Even though that light is red 50% of the time, today it is red because today is a bad day!! You will find ways to prove it's a bad day and you will look for the negative in absolutely everything.

Did you know that YOU have the power to turn your day around? It's all about your attitude and how you choose to think! You truly are a powerful being. Chances are, you haven't noticed your power yet.

Let's say you are aware of your personal power (and your personal responsibility for your whole life) and all of those things happen to you in one morning. How might you choose to think about these events? Maybe you could consider them "adventures." I have thought to myself on more than one occasion, "wow, I've had a lot of adventures this morning!" Perhaps you, a very powerful person, would choose to refrain from making any guesses about the rest of the day and just marvel at how amazing you are for having overcome so many obstacles before the day really even got started! That's something to be proud of, right?

No matter what happens in your life this morning, I hope you choose to have a fantastic day!

Not for the squeamish!

This morning there were two fresh piles of cat vomit waiting for me. One upstairs in my room, and one in the living room. I know this will (when he sees the pile in our room) upset the love of my life. Yesterday, in fact, he kept closing the door so the cats couldn't even get up to our room. I kept opening it, because it is not a rule that they can't go up there.

So anyway, I left him a note on the white board on the fridge. It reads "Two piles of cat vomit this morning! One in our room, one in the living room. Good thing the door to our room was open or there would be TWO down here! Gives the clean-up crew a little variety. :-) "

How's that for a positive spin? He he... *sigh* I sure love my cats.

Speaking of multiple piles of cat vomit....

A few years ago, I came home from work only to be accosted by SEVEN piles of cat vomit throughout the house. They went from solid to complete liquid. I assumed it was my female cat, because she plays the bulimia card to keep her girlish figure. Well, it was none other than Mr. Woozel. (Daxter is his given name, but you know how that goes.) He puked again right in front of me and something came up with it. A long stringy object. I immediately started gagging and had to look away as he choked it back down. Unfortunately my gag reflex kept me from identifying the object.

I assumed it was a tape worm or something equally atrocious. I took him to the emergency vet, where they did some x-rays. His intestines were all bunched up awkwardly. The vet asked me, "is there any string lying around your house?" Well, gosh, did I mention I crochet like a mad woman? Oy vey..... yes, there is lots and lots of string/yarn all over the place!!!

Poor Mr. Woozel had to spend the night in the hospital. The next morning, I picked him up from the ER vet and took him to his regular vet so he could be hospitalized there until they figured out the problem. Meanwhile, I looked around to see if there were any obvious signs that Daxter had chewed off some yarn. Then I remembered something...... I had recently made a blanket for my BFF and his wife, and there was a long strand of yarn left over at the end of a skein. This was long... 8 to 10 feet. I had put it next to my big bag of yarn in the living room. This long strand was missing.

I was living with my mother at the time. I asked her if she had thrown it out. Nope. Oh crap.

I called the vet and told him of my discovery. They scheduled surgery for poor Mr. Woozel. Yes, he had in fact slurped down over 8 feet of beautiful green yarn. They surgically extracted it from his intestines. Poor baby!!!!

Here are a couple pictures. One is, obviously, the yarn. The other is a picture of him when I visited after the surgery. I apologize if it makes you sick. :-)

Isn't he chubby and cute?????