Compliments are Important

Long ago, before I was the official trainer for my week at my job, I came up with an activity for groups of trainees to do. Each trainee must come up with some positive feedback (a.k.a. a compliment) for the person to their right. They go in a circle sharing their feedback, and then I surprise them with the news that they now get to go the other way. I never participate in the activity because I feel it would be weird if I threw that in there just so I could hear how awesome I am. Instead, I am an observer. I must say this activity makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside!

I have had trainees break into tears for the simple fact that they never receive compliments. Isn't that horrible??? There was one week I will never forget during which one trainee stopped the whole show and said, "You guys... I'm not used to this! This is so amazing! I love it! I NEVER heard stuff like this when I was growing up! I was always told that I'm ugly, I'm stupid, I'll never find a husband... This is so great!"

That right there is why I love, love, love this activity. The whole time the compliments are being shared, I sit there with a ridiculously cheesy grin on my face. It just makes me beam from the inside to see this positivity impact these people so deeply. On a few occasions, trainees have had to leave the room upon completion of the activity because they are too emotional to go on with the day just yet. The complements that usually bring the most tears are those along the lines of "just from what you say, I can tell you are a really good mother." That is a big one! The lady I quoted in the previous paragraph was told "You have a really great smile." Can you believe nobody had ever said that to her before? And that one, small little complement impacted her so profoundly...?

Positive feedback is a really big deal!!!

A few times, the follow-up conversation has moved into the realm of positive self talk. I'm sure you all realize that we say some pretty horrible things to ourselves—things that we would never let anybody else get away with! (Well we need to knock that junk off!) I think it's been 2 or 3 times that I have had my trainees go around and tell me something that they really like about THEMSELVES, which, for whatever dumb reason, is something our society tells us not to do. That is ridiculous.

I think we need to make a distinction between having a healthy self esteem and being conceited. It's OK to like yourself. It is healthy to be proud of things you have accomplished. Saying, "yeah, I am really good at that" does not make you full of yourself. I, for example, believe that I am really really good at crocheting. I really admire that in me. I am very proud of myself for having something that I am super good at! This does not make me conceited! Just think how weird it would be if every time someone said "WOW... you MADE that????" I responded with, "oh it wasn't very hard, anybody could do it, I'm sure it's been done better, it's really not that big of a deal." Sure that's being humble, but that is also being dishonest. It is 100% OK for me to respond with, "Heck yeah I did! It's the most epic thing I've ever made!!!"

Here's the most epic thing I've ever made:

Yep, I did that, I'm proud of it, and that's OK.

Think about what you like about yourself today. Give compliments to those around you, too! If you see something good, say it! I know I am really good at pointing out that my boys are handsome, intelligent, wonderful boys and I am glad that they are mine. I say this stuff to my super adorable tall husband as well. I imagine the day that I can shower my baby girl with praise. I can't wait to raise her to know that she is so incredibly awesome!!! I wish she would just be born NOW, darn it!

What things do you like about yourself? Can you make a list? Can you admit to yourself that you have good qualities?

Compliment yourself and those around you DAILY! You will be shocked at the immense impact it will have on your life as well as the lives of others.